The first major accumulating snow of the season is coming to the midwest this weekend. My favorite indoor activity on a cold weekend is… ok, maybe second favorite… well, for sure at least third, is online shopping. Why else would I always ask for Amazon and iTunes gift cards for xmas? If shopping is one of your favorite activities and you need to get holiday shopping started, I have several perfect solutions for you. […]
So another terrorist attack this time in Paris. Over a hundred citizens dead. Half a dozen dead terrorists looking for nonexistent virgins. Guess what? This all happens in a country with very strong gun control.
These guys had to smuggle AK-47s and bomb materials into one of the biggest cities in Europe. And they did it with little or no online chatter found by the government authorities. Why was there no warning? […]
You know the cartoons I’m talking about. They start with the Road Runner running down the highway. The bird goes “Beep beep!” as it runs past the Coyote. The Coyote gets an idea and sends away to Acme, A Company that Makes Everything. Moments later a package arrives followed with furious hammering, sawing and sanding by the Coyote until a new, road runner-trapping method is born which is invariably unsuccessful. […]
I didn’t watch the Country Music Awards the other night. I’m more of a jazz person. But I know plenty of folks around here that did. So of course that got me thinking.
Most people listen to some kind of music. How many of you have ever been on a long road trip in the old days and fought over what radio station to listen to. These days its usually whose playlist you listen to. Then the whole crew starts singing along with it.
That’s when it all breaks down. Everyone thinks they sound just like the artist that’s singing. Most times this is not the case. One guy starts singing off key or doesn’t know the words and makes up lyrics that just don’t make sense. That makes you just wanna turn the car around and take the kids back home.
Maybe a better idea would be to give the person with the unfortunate lack of talent a gift. Something that would give them the subtle hint that they should back off on the singing. A t-shirt with this design may be just the ticket. You can find it and many other gift ideas in my online store.
The curmudgeon asked me to write something this week since he’s taking some time off to celebrate his birthday. We talked about some possible subjects. I finally came up with my pet peeve (pun intended) which is cat food flavors.
What cat food flavor do you feed your cat? Maybe something like beef or chicken. Really? When was the last time you saw a house cat take down a cow? A chicken maybe, but it would take someone like my roommate Roswell who’s a 20 pound Maine Coon to make the kill. And don’t get me started about tuna. Ya can’t chase tuna! Try goldfish. At least you can chase goldfish, sorta, but you get your paws all wet. And I know from experience how pissed apes get when the aquarium gets knocked over.
Why don’t cat food makers come up with some good flavors? Last week I brought in two mice and a sparrow which I managed to share with Roswell before the apes saw us. Then I finished a full sized rabbit in the back yard. I didn’t bring that one in ’cause I didn’t wanna share it. Get the hint? Do we see minced mice or spiced sparrow in the pet food aisle? No! If ya really wanna go gourmet how ’bout let’s have some rabbit? Just please don’t cook it first.
And another thing! What ape came up with those damn dry nuggets in a bag they call treats. The best treat a cat could get is anything with six legs. Has to be alive though. We love how they scurry across the floor and some even jump up and fly. The biggest advantage is they have more legs to idly pull off during play. Yet there’s usually still something to eat when we’re done.
They accused poor Morris (Bastet rest his soul) of being a finicky eater. That’s total B.S. They just refused to feed him his natural diet. I’ll bet that if they would’ve laid a gerbil out in front of him, he wouldn’t be finicky, He’d jump that morsel in a New York second even if gerbil’s are known as a tough dry meat. The flavor’s still good.
That’s it! I’m gonna go out to change.org and make a petition for more realistic cat food flavors. And I’ll have everyone who reads this blog sign it. Let’s see, if I need ten thousand signers then I’ll only need nine thousand nine hundred and ninety five more signatures.