Some of us see conspiracies everywhere. You guessed it, I’m one of those who spent several hours one afternoon canvassing the grassy knoll inch by inch. I found nothing of interest but I still keep an open mind. This time though I think I found something that we have been lied to about for fifty years – the true origin of the Vulcan Salute.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a big football fan. This fact is even stranger when you realize I live in Nebraska, which has one of the most enthusiastic fan bases in college football. But I never realized how enthusiastic some fans are till I got the opportunity to attend a game this weekend.
I haven’t seen my cell mate Roswell since Thursday. I’ve been looking all over the Homestead and he is nowhere to be found.
I noticed the past week he was having trouble breathing sometimes. He was tired all the time and complaining to me that his chest hurt. But like a usual, stoic feline he tried not to let the apes see that anything was wrong. Then Wednesday it was so hard for him to catch his breath that one of the apes noticed he was breathing through his mouth. I’m sure that’s why they got his travel cage out and took him away Thursday morning.
Both of us have occasionally been trapped in a travel cage and taken to the lady in the white coat to be poked and tortured. Though in the past we always got to come home in a couple of hours. This time seems different. The apes came home without Roswell and all of them have had tears in their eyes for a couple of days.
I don’t think Roswell is coming back. The thought of him not being around makes me sad too. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes but through it all he was a good companion, teacher and friend. We will all miss him.
Lately I’ve been getting a lot of unsolicited phones sales calls. How they know to call when I have my hands full I’ll never know. I’ve gotten smart and used the little trick on my phone that announces out loud who the caller is. That way if the phone rings and I hear Siri say, “Unknown Caller” I know I can go about my work and enjoy the vibration in my pocket. […]
Most folks are turned off by the experience of being shut up in an elevator. I find many times that people try to avoid this feeling of claustrophobia by ignoring it and overcompensating their actions to prove that everything is normal. This leads to the opportunity to hear the most interesting conversations.