Cat Food Flavors for the Soul

Cat Food Selection

The curmudgeon asked me to write something this week since he’s taking some time off to celebrate his birthday. We talked about some possible subjects. I finally came up with my pet peeve (pun intended) which is cat food flavors.

What cat food flavor do you feed your cat? Maybe something like beef or chicken. Really? When was the last time you saw a house cat take down a cow? A chicken maybe, but it would take someone like my roommate Roswell who’s a 20 pound Maine Coon to make the kill. And don’t get me started about tuna. Ya can’t chase tuna! Try goldfish. At least you can chase goldfish, sorta, but you get your paws all wet. And I know from experience how pissed apes get when the aquarium gets knocked over.

Why don’t cat food makers come up with some good flavors? Last week I brought in two mice and a sparrow which I managed to share with Roswell before the apes saw us. Then I finished a full sized rabbit in the back yard. I didn’t bring that one in ’cause I didn’t wanna share it. Get the hint? Do we see minced mice or spiced sparrow in the pet food aisle? No! If ya really wanna go gourmet how ’bout let’s have some rabbit? Just please don’t cook it first.

And another thing! What ape came up with those damn dry nuggets in a bag they call treats. The best treat a cat could get is anything with six legs. Has to be alive though. We love how they scurry across the floor and some even jump up and fly. The biggest advantage is they have more legs to idly pull off during play. Yet there’s usually still something to eat when we’re done.

They accused poor Morris (Bastet rest his soul) of being a finicky eater. That’s total B.S. They just refused to feed him his natural diet. I’ll bet that if they would’ve laid a gerbil out in front of him, he wouldn’t be finicky, He’d jump that morsel in a New York second even if gerbil’s are known as a tough dry meat. The flavor’s still good.

That’s it! I’m gonna go out to change.org and make a petition for more realistic cat food flavors. And I’ll have everyone who reads this blog sign it. Let’s see, if I need ten thousand signers then I’ll only need nine thousand nine hundred and ninety five more signatures.


The Tracker Returns

This is the sequel to The Tracker from Tales of the Wild Rose. There is gore and adult content. Parental guidance suggested.

Every wait person knows that there are good things and bad things about quiet nights behind the bar. The good is not much stress. The bad is not much tips. Tonight had been a quiet night. I’ll take it for what it was worth. The stress didn’t start till after closing.

Just as I finally got the last regular out the door, I see a guy limping up the sidewalk. As he passed under a streetlight I saw he was bare headed, his old military fatigues were torn and bloody. That’s when I recognized my old friend Mike that I had talked to earlier this evening. […]

The Tracker

This is a short story from my series, Tales of the Wild Rose. This particular selection has some gore and adult language. Parental guidance is suggested.

It’s always a surprise to run into an old friend after many years. Especially one you haven’t seen since high school. That moment of confused familiarity followed by surprised recognition can leave you unbalanced. Then when you find out the strange life they’ve lead in the intervening years, it can warp your reality.

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I’m a Cat, I Meant to Do That

The pills and big plastic stick for Griffin's medicine.

I haven’t been around to post lately because I had a slight accident. The vet suggested that I should write about the trauma. Since the word catharsis starts with cat, I agreed.

As far as my apes know I just showed up one Sunday morning with a weird looking eye and a lot of coughing. I know what I did and I’m not telling. After all I am a cat and I don’t make mistakes. I meant to do it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. […]