Recently some apes who shall remain un-named have been complaining about how difficult life is in the cold weather. Since I have been forced to become an indoor cat I really can’t get behind their point of view. I just have to make the best of a bad situation. Continue reading “Winter’s Not So Bad”
I haven’t seen my cell mate Roswell since Thursday. I’ve been looking all over the Homestead and he is nowhere to be found.
I noticed the past week he was having trouble breathing sometimes. He was tired all the time and complaining to me that his chest hurt. But like a usual, stoic feline he tried not to let the apes see that anything was wrong. Then Wednesday it was so hard for him to catch his breath that one of the apes noticed he was breathing through his mouth. I’m sure that’s why they got his travel cage out and took him away Thursday morning.
Both of us have occasionally been trapped in a travel cage and taken to the lady in the white coat to be poked and tortured. Though in the past we always got to come home in a couple of hours. This time seems different. The apes came home without Roswell and all of them have had tears in their eyes for a couple of days.
I don’t think Roswell is coming back. The thought of him not being around makes me sad too. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes but through it all he was a good companion, teacher and friend. We will all miss him.
There’s a scene in the original Ghostbusters movie where Bill Murray’s character is trying to convince the mayor of New York how dire the situation is. He claims the city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions with dogs and cats living together in mass hysteria. In my opinion that mixture is a recipe for disaster in real life too. No one warned me that I would be living with a dog when they stuck me in a cat carrier and dragged me up here to the homestead. I’ve seen dogs before and Bast knows I could smell them at the rescue center. But this is the first time I’ve had to put up with one full time Continue reading “Dogs and Cats – Living Together”
A couple days ago the curmudgeon told you all about the move from the Compound to our new life here on the Homestead. He’s wallowing in blissful ignorance thinking my cell mate Roswell the Maine Coon and I are happy here. He thinks just because we have a sun room and an outdoor cage that we have to get to through a tunnel that we are happy kitties. Well I’m here to tell you it’s not so! Continue reading “I’m Not Happy About This!”
Its not my fault. I was scared. The noise coming from the thing that the ape was using was so loud the neighbors were coming over to find out what is was. And now I’ve been imprisoned in the house for over two weeks. Continue reading “Grime and Punishment”
My ape has been very busy lately. To earn my Purina I volunteered to write this week’s article. I wanted to show some of the sights around the compound, so I asked to borrow his camera phone. I sure hope he doesn’t mind the tooth marks I left on the iPhone case. How else was I supposed to carry it? Continue reading “A Pet’s Point of View”
A couple days ago my ape went to the pet store to get food for me and my cell mate Roswell. He has to go to a pet store with an onsite vet because Roswell is overweight and needs special food – sort of Weight Watchers for cats. So sad for him, but anyway I digress.
After my ape returned he told me the tale of watching customers bringing their pets, mostly dogs, into the store with them. Now this is a very Good Thing. It helps the bond between animal and ape. But there is something that bothered us both as he told me this story. When people drag their animals with them they need to consider among other things that the animals are barefoot!!
While standing in the check out line, my ape watched two dog owners standing outside in front of the store and talking while holding their dog’s leash. It was a hot day and the concrete was sizzling. The dogs were literally dancing trying to keep their paws cool. One dog was even trying to stand in the shadow of his master’s friend but kept being pulled back because his actions were misinterpreted as an annoyance to other ape. The spectacle was over by the time my ape was leaving the store or he probably would have said something to the inconsiderate owners.
There are always plenty of warnings in the summer about remembering to not leave animals or even children in hot cars. There was an actual incident a week ago at a grocery store near our compound where animals trapped in a hot car were released by heroic passersby. But remember to be considerate to all of the conditions you inflict on to your animals. Not just hot cars but any man-made environment, like hot concrete, can be harmful to an animal if left there too long. And always provide fresh water.
The most protected possession a cat has is their dignity. Take that away and we’re just another house pet. Hell, a dog can go roll in fish at the lake then all he has to do is suck up and the apes still think he’s their best friend. But we cats have pride. We always make sure we look good even when we miss a jump or get caught behind a closed door. But sometimes you make a small mistake and the apes over react. There’s no easy way back from that.
My cell mate Roswell is a long hair Maine Coon. He’s a large fellow and the apes suspect he has some wild cat in him since he has behavior problems and he is of dubious origin(feral). He’s not the brightest star in the heavens and his long hair get tangled and hot in the summer.
Two days ago one of the apes caught him cooling off in front of the air conditioning vent. It’s been getting hot outside so this was pretty normal for a cat with a lot of fur. The ape even got a picture of him.
Then, first thing yesterday the ape brought up a carry cage and we knew someone was going on a trip. I was pretty sure it wasn’t me since I’d been to the vet recently. Sure enough they shoved Roswell butt first into the cage and took him away. He was gone for most of the day.
That afternoon the ape brought the cage back with a growling, extremely pissed off Roswell inside. When the door was opened, out stomps Roswell with no fur except for his head feet and tail. They called it a ‘Lion Cut”. I call it embarrassing and the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. You can be sure I’m staying away from any A/C vents this summer.
It’s early morning and I am released from my nightly captivity of the house, I leap onto the deck railing with the smooth viscosity of crude oil flowing uphill.
From my vantage point I survey the garden for the slightest movement.
My constantly twitching ears catch the faint rustling sound of a trespassing rodent looking for food in the undergrowth.
Like a shadow on the moon, a black form with no substance, I jump down and make my way along the hedgerow. The siren song of the starlings announces my presence.
Oblivious to the screaming birds my prey continues to forage in the grass for its morning grain. The breeze brings his blood scent to my nostrils. It sets my hunting instincts on fire.
I bend low, moving silently, closer to the rodent. Then I stop, still without sound. I deepen my crouch, the sinews of my rear haunches tightening with a need to strike like an over-wound clock.
With a single leap I dispense feline justice. My prey has no time to cry out.
The temptation to devour my victory is a strong one. But the apes have been good to me recently. I will leave this one for them on their living room carpet. Their screams of delight are reward enough.