My Reusable Christmas List

Curmudgeon

I’ve seen a lot of changes of the Christmas holiday through the years and some things that never change. Every year people still complain about the lack of religion in the holiday but this is the first year I’ve heard of a mall offering “Selfies with Santa”.

Santa has never thought me a good enough boy to get everything I wanted even though I’ve been using the same Christmas list for over a half century. Granted the meanings of the items have changed over the years but I think its still the same basic list. I’ll let you decide. Old pictures are on the left, updated list items on the right.

Dear Santa,
I’ve been a very good boy this year. Well actually I did yell at that stupid neighbor of mine about blocking the driveway. And I did have to chase those damn kids off of my lawn but that was weeks ago. So here is my list again this year.

  1. A Pony
    Well more than one pony. I’m thinking of about 300 of them under the hood of today’s version of a pony car. Here’s a picture of a 2017 Mustang I found on the Ford website.
  2. A Star Wars action figure
    To tell ya the truth even though I’ve always been a fan boy, I think its time a completely different kind of figure would be more appropriate. How about a Victoria Secret model like this one. Now that’s what I call an action figure. (Let’s not mention this one to Snowball.)
  3. Play-Doh
    These days its not so easy to make the kind of things I like with Play-Doh. Instead, how about some real dough. I’m thinking about $500,000 should tie me over until next Christmas. Cash in $20s and $50s would be best but I’ll take any denomination.
  4. A sail boat.
    I’m really getting to old to manage any kind of sail boat. Even the little toy pictured in this painting by Emile Vernon. Can I have instead this 39 foot motor yacht by Kadey-Krogen? This is a picture of one I liked from a couple of years ago.
  5. “All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”
    Yeah, well, speaking about boats, this song is all about a ship that has sailed long ago. I just thought, Santa, you might want to know there are some things I don’t need. Don’t bother with any combs, brushes or hair gel either.

That’s my list, Santa. The milk and cookies will be waiting for you like always.

Love,
Curmudgeon