A Pet’s Point of View

My ape has been very busy lately. To earn my Purina I volunteered to write this week’s article. I wanted to show some of the sights around the compound, so I asked to borrow his camera phone. I sure hope he doesn’t mind the tooth marks I left on the iPhone case. How else was I supposed to carry it?

MyApeAtTheSinkThis is a picture of my ape-who-brings-food standing by the place-that-water-comes-from. It’s in this same area of the place-that-food-comes-from that the apes call the kitchen.

You can’t see much of him but you can tell that my ape is not a slave to fashion.

 

TrailThruJunkOn the right you can see some of the junk I have to make my way through just to get to the go-outside place. These bags and boxes have been sitting there since last weekend. I think my apes must actually be pigs.

 

DoorLatchOnce I make it past all the junk on the floor in the kitchen I get to the go-outside place. When the apes let me go outside they touch that lever way up there. I know I could probably jump high enough to touch it but without thumbs what’s the use.

There’s another go-outside place that has a smaller door for me to use without help but I enjoy sitting by this one and whining. It gives the apes a chance to show how much they love me by letting me go outside.

 

DeckRailingWhen I finally make it outside I wind up on a wooden area the apes call a deck. On the right this is a picture of the railing around that area that I like to sit on and watch the garden. When I jump up there I have to hope that no one put anything in my way. Most mornings from up there I can see a mouse or snake or something else fun to chase.

 

AtTheCabanaOn the left is a picture of my cell mate Roswell sitting next to the water bowl. The apes put this comfortable furniture and table in a covered cabana so we would have a nice shady quiet place to hang out during the summer. A lot of evenings and weekends we let the apes come out out and enjoy it with us.

 

CatNipGrowsWildOn the right is a picture of my favorite plant in the garden. It’s called catnip or catmint. It grows wild in several areas. Its not a very good picture because its getting late in the growing season and the leaves are starting to dry out.

I chew one leaf of this and I mellow out for the rest of the afternoon. Roswell likes to chew the little white flowers. That’s good because sometimes he needs some mellowing.

 

EscapeRouteThis is the back side of the deck. It’s the way I sneak out of the yard. I found out I could go through the deck stairs then under the deck and behind the garbage can. Then its a quick slip through the skinny space between the gate and fence and I am no longer a prisoner of the back yard. The apes seldom come this way as you can tell from the overgrown grass and weeds.

 

UnderCar

Here’s the view from one of my shady spots in the front yard. The ground is really hard but I have a great view of the birds in the trees across the street. If I don’t want the apes to easily find me I just get closer to that round thing on the right.

I have to stay awake when I’m here because a lot of times the apes will get inside this thing and it starts making lots of noise. Then it starts to move. They never check for me under here first.

 

TheStreetThis is a picture from a place I seldom go. The apes call it the street and whenever I get near it they get really worried and angry. It scares me too because the noisy things go really fast here.

I wanted you to notice how some of them have glowing eyes just like animals in the forest. That’s why so many of us get here and just stop and stare, trying to figure out what is coming at us. Usually by the time we know, its too late. I wish these things would slow down and watch for us.

 

I hope you enjoyed my little tour of the compound. If you have a chance to talk to my ape tell him I’m sorry about the tooth marks and spit on his phone. Also tell him he needs to clean it. It tastes like sweat and it’s covered in pocket lint.

About the Author

Griffin

Meow. I'm a full-time vermin controller and part-time writer for the Curmudgeon. I'm a mostly Bombay breed with those wonderful black panther like characteristics.
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