I haven’t seen my cell mate Roswell since Thursday. I’ve been looking all over the Homestead and he is nowhere to be found.
I noticed the past week he was having trouble breathing sometimes. He was tired all the time and complaining to me that his chest hurt. But like a usual, stoic feline he tried not to let the apes see that anything was wrong. Then Wednesday it was so hard for him to catch his breath that one of the apes noticed he was breathing through his mouth. I’m sure that’s why they got his travel cage out and took him away Thursday morning.
Both of us have occasionally been trapped in a travel cage and taken to the lady in the white coat to be poked and tortured. Though in the past we always got to come home in a couple of hours. This time seems different. The apes came home without Roswell and all of them have had tears in their eyes for a couple of days.
I don’t think Roswell is coming back. The thought of him not being around makes me sad too. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes but through it all he was a good companion, teacher and friend. We will all miss him.
Today is my birthday. At my age birthdays merely become days of reflection. When a person is young, a birthday means parties and presents. As you reach my age presents become redundant because after all what do you get a man who has everything. And parties are no big thing because frankly it took all of my stamina to stay up late enough to see the Cubs receive the Major League Trophy early this morning. Continue reading Birthday Reflections
I had a dream last night. I died and went to heaven. As I was standing there at the Pearly Gates, talking to God, He sneezed. I didn’t know what to say.
The joke above is a very old one. It revolves around the age old habit of saying “Bless you” whenever someone in the room sneezes. The origin comes from the ancient belief that when someone sneezes their heart stops for a moment risking death. Other beliefs are that the soul leaves by way of the nose. Saying “Bless you” is supposed to keep the soul from leaving.
In reality, this happened the other night at a family gathering. There were people from various sections of the country and various faiths. We had everything from Southern Baptist to agnostic. I was the one who sneezed with the result of more than half the people at the table saying “Bless you.” It got me wondering why those who are not normally superstitious still cling to this one. After all, the chances of a fatal sneeze are minuscule. I have however seen people with a nose big enough to accommodate a Greyhound bus so a quickly exiting soul could be a danger to them.
In today’s culture of political correctness this unsolicited blessing could become a sign of rudeness. How does a sneezer know that the people blessing him are not doing him any harm? Can you be overly blessed? Does an agnostic blessing even work? Is it ok for a Catholic to bless a sneezing Jew and vice versa? Would they have to convert? Maybe the person just doesn’t want to be blessed.
And what if in the future this leads to more superstitious traditions? What if one starts that’s totally opposite where when someone farts everyone in the room says, “Curse you”. This could become especially prominent in elevators. It might come in handy too as the farter joins in with the curse to leave doubt as to who the guilty party is.
Personally I find it annoying. I’m not gonna die from a sneeze. I do my own blessings, just as I do my own curses. So don’t expect me to thank you for keeping me from a nonexistent, fatal sneeze.
There was a chill in the early spring air, The sky was grey and rain was in the forecast for the afternoon. The couple had ventured out to try a new restaurant for lunch and afterward decided to pick up a few groceries on the way home. It would be a rainy weekend and they had no desire to go out in it. Continue reading The Lady in White
I hate spiders. I consider bugs of any kind a necessary evil but spiders are special to me because of the webs. And yes i know that spiders keep down the population of other flying bugs. And there starts but one of my love/hate relationships with all bugs. Continue reading My Killing Spree
I have a small group of very long-time friends. We’ve known each other since the seventies – some even before then. Our group meets once or twice a year to keep caught up on what we are all doing; who has more grandchildren and who has died. And we reminisce about the old days which we all seem to remember differently, if at all. The old saying “If you remember the seventies then you weren’t really there” applies whole-heartedly to this group.
Snowball spent Sunday making crystals for a line of jewelry she will be selling soon. While setting up her stuff in the kitchen, she unplugged a carbon-monoxide sensor. It has a battery backup so not a big deal. Until three in the morning when it started that infernal high pitched beeping. The detector never got plugged back in and the battery died. Continue reading I’d Rather Die In My Sleep
Well, another month, another mass shooting. And the politicians once again fall all over themselves telling the American sheeple that its all the fault of poor gun control. As if there’s a bunch of feral semi-automatics that have slipped their leash and are walking around by themselves needing to be rounded up by the humane society to be put to sleep. While the back pocket of the crazy person that the gun is hanging out of has nothing to do with it.
As I often say to Snowball, this “Getting Old” thing sucks but its better than the alternative. The aches and pains really make everything a challenge some days. But I’m working on a third choice. When I sleep I leave my neck exposed so that any passing vampires have more than an even chance. Continue reading It Would Be a Fair Trade