I know many of you have been asking why I haven’t written anything lately. Well you know that old saying about life getting in the way? Life didn’t just get in the way, it took a hard left turn and then hit me in the face. Continue reading “Where Has The Curmudgeon Been?”
One of my favorite guilty pleasures is a show on PBS called ‘This Old House”. Its the original reality show where they find some people who own a house that needs updating. On the episode where they introduce us to the house, they go through with the owners of what looks like a perfectly livable house and look at all the problems they have with it; Continue reading “This Old Government”
Most folks are turned off by the experience of being shut up in an elevator. I find many times that people try to avoid this feeling of claustrophobia by ignoring it and overcompensating their actions to prove that everything is normal. This leads to the opportunity to hear the most interesting conversations.Continue reading “Elevator Speech”
When I was growing up it was just assumed that anytime the telephone rang after 10 o’clock it was bad news – or if you were lucky it was just a drunk dialing a wrong number. But nobody had anything positive and important to say that couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Today however, its a 24-hour world and there a lot more methods of communication to worry about.
Take for example the strange text message I received from my adult daughter several months ago. It was around ten o’clock at night and all she asked was to verify my middle name. Of course at that time of night my mind went to the worst spot it could find and since I only had a text there was no way of telling her stress level. I pictured her filling out next-of-kin questions in a hospital form at the ER.
I replied that she had the name right and then asked what the hell was going on. She explained that she was filling out a passport application and went on to ask what years her mother and I were born.
My heart rate now returning to normal I responded with the birthday information and then jokingly asked if she was planning to leave the country because of the new presidential administration. But she explained that her family was going to Mexico for spring break. I told her that I already had my passport (which surprised her) and could I please go along. All I got back was a smiling emoticon. I get no respect from my off-spring.
Its not my fault. I was scared. The noise coming from the thing that the ape was using was so loud the neighbors were coming over to find out what is was. And now I’ve been imprisoned in the house for over two weeks. Continue reading “Grime and Punishment”
I’ve worked with more than my share of television meteorologists. For the most part they’re really nice guys who get all the blame when the weather sucks and none of the reward when the weather is nice. So it makes sense that they’ve come up with a rodent whipping boy to take the blame for continued crappy weather in the late winter. But expecting a Pennsylvania groundhog to predict Midwestern weather is just foolish. I have a better solution. Continue reading “Consult Your Local Groundhog”
One of my favorite things to do while driving is trying to figure out the meaning of vanity plates. You know the ones I’m talking about – the owner pays extra to say something special on their license plate up to eight letters. But with only eight letters they have to really work at it to create any kind of meaning. Continue reading “In The Mall Parking Lot”
I’ve seen a lot of changes of the Christmas holiday through the years and some things that never change. Every year people still complain about the lack of religion in the holiday but this is the first year I’ve heard of a mall offering “Selfies with Santa”.
Santa has never thought me a good enough boy to get everything I wanted even though I’ve been using the same Christmas list for over a half century. Granted the meanings of the items have changed over the years but I think its still the same basic list. I’ll let you decide. Old pictures are on the left, updated list items on the right. Continue reading “My Reusable Christmas List”
This year is the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. This happened on a quiet Sunday morning taking the Naval installation totally unaware. But in reality there were many early signs of the sneak attack. Continue reading “Yes, Worry About It”