A Father’s Day Gift

Click here to go this perfect gift of Dad.
Click here to see more items with this design, the perfect gift for Dad.

Maybe not the Father’s Day gift but a Father’s Day gift. After all Dad deserves a lot more. I know I do. But when he plays the part of a grumpy old man, The Curmudgeon’s Disclaimer might go well with his attitude (and cover up for any of his unfortunate comments.)

Its available in my Spreadshirt shop along with lots of other stuff.

A Shadow On The Moon

It’s early morning and I am released from my nightly captivity of the house, I leap onto the deck railing with the smooth viscosity of crude oil flowing uphill.

Watching for trespassers in my garden.
Surveying my garden.

From my vantage point I survey the garden for the slightest movement.

My constantly twitching ears catch the faint rustling sound of a trespassing rodent looking for food in the undergrowth.

Like a shadow on the moon, a black form with no substance, I jump down and make my way along the hedgerow. The siren song of the starlings announces my presence.

Moving silently thru the grass.
Moving silently, closer to my prey.

Oblivious to the screaming birds my prey continues to forage in the grass for its morning grain. The breeze brings his blood scent to my nostrils. It sets my hunting instincts on fire.

All cats deserve love. Click on this shirt to find it in the Idle Thoughts online shop.
All cats deserve love. Find this shirt in the Idle Thoughts online shop.

I bend low, moving silently, closer to the rodent. Then I stop, still without sound. I deepen my crouch, the sinews of my rear haunches tightening with a need to strike like an over-wound clock.

With a single leap I dispense feline justice. My prey has no time to cry out.

The temptation to devour my victory is a strong one. But the apes have been good to me recently. I will leave this one for them on their living room carpet. Their screams of delight are reward enough.

I’m Coming Out

There is something I’ve been dealing with in silence for a long time. Now is finally the time for me to come out with the truth. I think my wife, Snowball, has been suspecting for some time. Some of my friends have been able to see this in me without my saying a thing – they just expect it. So there’s no other way to say it than to just say it. I’m coming out in support of Trump’s candidacy for president.* Continue reading “I’m Coming Out”

Celebrating a Milestone

As I looked at this website’s control panel dashboard after my last posting I saw an interesting number. This will be the 100th blog post made by Griffin and me on this website. I think that calls for a celebration.

So the first thing I’ve done is create a Facebook page for this site that’s all it’s own. Yes, we are still part of Wizard’s Touch, but now we can get even more curmudgeoney without the worry of diluting someone else’s brand. I know I get a lot of traffic from the Wizard’s Facebook friends. I hope all of you will start following me on this new page.

Using this FB page you can click directly to the Idle Thoughts Online Shop too. Be on the lookout for some new designs in these shops. We have a big push going on this year for new and different products in all of the Wizard’s Touch family of stores.

And finally, Snowball, Griffin and I want to thank all of you who have supported us in our creative efforts in the past. We hope to have lots of new exciting things to show you in the times to come.

My Nietzschien Philosophy of Drug Use

We all remember things differently.

I have a small group of very long-time friends. We’ve known each other since the seventies – some even before then. Our group meets once or twice a year to keep caught up on what we are all doing; who has more grandchildren and who has died. And we reminisce about the old days which we all seem to remember differently, if at all. The old saying “If you remember the seventies then you weren’t really there” applies whole-heartedly to this group.

Continue reading “My Nietzschien Philosophy of Drug Use”

Snowy Weekend Activity

The first major accumulating snow of the season is coming to the midwest this weekend. My favorite indoor activity on a cold weekend is… ok, maybe second favorite… well, for sure at least third, is online shopping. Why else would I always ask for Amazon and iTunes gift cards for xmas? If shopping is one of your favorite activities and you need to get holiday shopping started, I have several perfect solutions for you. Continue reading “Snowy Weekend Activity”

Only Singing in the Shower

This I'd Rather Sing Than Eat T-shirt is for sale at the Idle Thoughts Online Shop.
A subtle hint for a singing friend.

I didn’t watch the Country Music Awards the other night. I’m more of a jazz person. But I know plenty of folks around here that did. So of course that got me thinking.

Most people listen to some kind of music. How many of you have ever been on a long road trip in the old days and fought over what radio station to listen to. These days its usually whose playlist you listen to. Then the whole crew starts singing along with it.

That’s when it all breaks down. Everyone thinks they sound just like the artist that’s singing. Most times this is not the case. One guy starts singing off key or doesn’t know the words and makes up lyrics that just don’t make sense. That makes you just wanna turn the car around and take the kids back home.

Maybe a better idea would be to give the person with the unfortunate lack of talent a gift. Something that would give them the subtle hint that they should back off on the singing. A t-shirt with this design may be just the ticket. You can find it and many other gift ideas in my online store.

Cat Food Flavors for the Soul

The curmudgeon asked me to write something this week since he’s taking some time off to celebrate his birthday. We talked about some possible subjects. I finally came up with my pet peeve (pun intended) which is cat food flavors.

What cat food flavor do you feed your cat? Maybe something like beef or chicken. Really? When was the last time you saw a house cat take down a cow? A chicken maybe, but it would take someone like my roommate Roswell who’s a 20 pound Maine Coon to make the kill. And don’t get me started about tuna. Ya can’t chase tuna! Try goldfish. At least you can chase goldfish, sorta, but you get your paws all wet. And I know from experience how pissed apes get when the aquarium gets knocked over.

Why don’t cat food makers come up with some good flavors? Last week I brought in two mice and a sparrow which I managed to share with Roswell before the apes saw us. Then I finished a full sized rabbit in the back yard. I didn’t bring that one in ’cause I didn’t wanna share it. Get the hint? Do we see minced mice or spiced sparrow in the pet food aisle? No! If ya really wanna go gourmet how ’bout let’s have some rabbit? Just please don’t cook it first.

And another thing! What ape came up with those damn dry nuggets in a bag they call treats. The best treat a cat could get is anything with six legs. Has to be alive though. We love how they scurry across the floor and some even jump up and fly. The biggest advantage is they have more legs to idly pull off during play. Yet there’s usually still something to eat when we’re done.

They accused poor Morris (Bastet rest his soul) of being a finicky eater. That’s total B.S. They just refused to feed him his natural diet. I’ll bet that if they would’ve laid a gerbil out in front of him, he wouldn’t be finicky, He’d jump that morsel in a New York second even if gerbil’s are known as a tough dry meat. The flavor’s still good.

That’s it! I’m gonna go out to change.org and make a petition for more realistic cat food flavors. And I’ll have everyone who reads this blog sign it. Let’s see, if I need ten thousand signers then I’ll only need nine thousand nine hundred and ninety five more signatures.


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