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A Star Trek Conspiracy

Some of us see conspiracies everywhere. You guessed it, I’m one of those who spent several hours one afternoon canvassing the grassy knoll inch by inch. I found nothing of interest but I still keep an open mind. This time though I think I found something that we have been lied to about for fifty years – the true origin of the Vulcan Salute.

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Enthusiastic Fans

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a big football fan. This fact is even stranger when you realize I live in Nebraska, which has one of the most enthusiastic fan bases in college football. But I never realized how enthusiastic some fans are till I got the opportunity to attend a game this weekend.

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Where Did Roswell Go?

I haven’t seen my cell mate Roswell since Thursday. I’ve been looking all over the Homestead and he is nowhere to be found.

Roswell in all of his furry glory.

I noticed the past week he was having trouble breathing sometimes. He was tired all the time and complaining to me that his chest hurt. But like a usual, stoic feline he tried not to let the apes see that anything was wrong. Then Wednesday it was so hard for him to catch his breath that one of the apes noticed he was breathing through his mouth. I’m sure that’s why they got his travel cage out and took him away Thursday morning.

All cats deserve love. Click on this shirt to find it in the Idle Thoughts online shop.

Both of us have occasionally been trapped in a travel cage and taken to the lady in the white coat to be poked and tortured. Though in the past we always got to come home in a couple of hours. This time seems different. The apes came home without Roswell and all of them have had tears in their eyes for a couple of days.

I don’t think Roswell is coming back. The thought of him not being around makes me sad too. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes but through it all he was a good companion, teacher and friend. We will all miss him.

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Sometimes I Make Them Cry

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of unsolicited phones sales calls. How they know to call when I have my hands full I’ll never know. I’ve gotten smart and used the little trick on my phone that announces out loud who the caller is. That way if the phone rings and I hear Siri say, “Unknown Caller” I know I can go about my work and enjoy the vibration in my pocket. Continue reading Sometimes I Make Them Cry

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Elevator Speech

Most folks are turned off by the experience of being shut up in an elevator. I find many times that people try to avoid this feeling of claustrophobia by ignoring it and overcompensating their actions to prove that everything is normal. This leads to the opportunity to hear the most interesting conversations.

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In The Mall Parking Lot

One of my favorite things to do while driving is trying to figure out the meaning of vanity plates. You know the ones I’m talking about – the owner pays extra to say something special on their license plate up to eight letters. But with only eight letters they have to really work at it to create any kind of meaning. Continue reading In The Mall Parking Lot

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My Reusable Christmas List

I’ve seen a lot of changes of the Christmas holiday through the years and some things that never change. Every year people still complain about the lack of religion in the holiday but this is the first year I’ve heard of a mall offering “Selfies with Santa”.

Santa has never thought me a good enough boy to get everything I wanted even though I’ve been using the same Christmas list for over a half century. Granted the meanings of the items have changed over the years but I think its still the same basic list. I’ll let you decide. Old pictures are on the left, updated list items on the right. Continue reading My Reusable Christmas List

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Birthday Reflections

Today is my birthday. At my age birthdays merely become days of reflection. When a person is young, a birthday means parties and presents. As you reach my age presents become redundant because after all what do you get a man who has everything. And parties are no big thing because frankly it took all of my stamina to stay up late enough to see the Cubs receive the Major League Trophy early this morning. Continue reading Birthday Reflections

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Moving Day

We have a saying here on the compound, it usually goes something like “I’m gonna need more popcorn.” It implies that there is something entertaining going on and a person is planning on just sitting and watching the event, eating snacks. Yesterday daughter-of-Snowball moved out and I ran out of popcorn. Continue reading Moving Day