Cat Food Flavors for the Soul

The curmudgeon asked me to write something this week since he’s taking some time off to celebrate his birthday. We talked about some possible subjects. I finally came up with my pet peeve (pun intended) which is cat food flavors.

What cat food flavor do you feed your cat? Maybe something like beef or chicken. Really? When was the last time you saw a house cat take down a cow? A chicken maybe, but it would take someone like my roommate Roswell who’s a 20 pound Maine Coon to make the kill. And don’t get me started about tuna. Ya can’t chase tuna! Try goldfish. At least you can chase goldfish, sorta, but you get your paws all wet. And I know from experience how pissed apes get when the aquarium gets knocked over.

Why don’t cat food makers come up with some good flavors? Last week I brought in two mice and a sparrow which I managed to share with Roswell before the apes saw us. Then I finished a full sized rabbit in the back yard. I didn’t bring that one in ’cause I didn’t wanna share it. Get the hint? Do we see minced mice or spiced sparrow in the pet food aisle? No! If ya really wanna go gourmet how ’bout let’s have some rabbit? Just please don’t cook it first.

And another thing! What ape came up with those damn dry nuggets in a bag they call treats. The best treat a cat could get is anything with six legs. Has to be alive though. We love how they scurry across the floor and some even jump up and fly. The biggest advantage is they have more legs to idly pull off during play. Yet there’s usually still something to eat when we’re done.

They accused poor Morris (Bastet rest his soul) of being a finicky eater. That’s total B.S. They just refused to feed him his natural diet. I’ll bet that if they would’ve laid a gerbil out in front of him, he wouldn’t be finicky, He’d jump that morsel in a New York second even if gerbil’s are known as a tough dry meat. The flavor’s still good.

That’s it! I’m gonna go out to change.org and make a petition for more realistic cat food flavors. And I’ll have everyone who reads this blog sign it. Let’s see, if I need ten thousand signers then I’ll only need nine thousand nine hundred and ninety five more signatures.


About the Author

Griffin

Meow. I'm a full-time vermin controller and part-time writer for the Curmudgeon. I'm a mostly Bombay breed with those wonderful black panther like characteristics.
%d bloggers like this: